U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
