Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
