I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
