i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
