thus making me awesome and them whores
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
