look no pants
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
