Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
