WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
