I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
