yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
