I want to have your abortion
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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