just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
