how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
