Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
