Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
