how can u be prego again
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
