We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
