we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
