im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
