would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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