So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
