IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
