im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
