I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
