is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
