So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
