I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
