you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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