are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
