I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
