clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
