I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
