just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
