in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
