did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
