Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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