I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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