the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
