Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
