so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
