She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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