TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
