i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
