you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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