All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
