I should be sponsored by Trojan
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
