I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
