I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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