And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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