forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
