my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
