No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
